If you’ve ever been bored with a group of friends, you know how to play F***, Marry, Kill. The game is very problematic when people’s names are involved. But it really lends itself when you want to analyze a baseball team. So, let’s get started: F***, Marry, Kill: the Dodgers’ offense, defense, and their pitching. 


The Dodgers’ Chris Taylor has shifted from center field to shortstop since a season-ending injury to All-Star Corey Seager. (AP Photo/Rick Scuteri)
The Dodgers’ Chris Taylor, AP Photo/Rick Scuteri

During the 2022 season, the Dodgers averaged .51 errors per game, and ranked at number 11 after committing 83 errors. Trea Turner committed 16 of those 83 errors, the most in the team. The errors followed them in the postseason against the Padres, costing them an early exit after winning 111 games. Losing both Turners in the infield and Bellinger in the outfield will not help their defense.

Instead, the Dodgers will rely on Miguel Vargas, Gavin Lux, Miguel Rojas and Trayce Thompson to play third base, shortstop and center outfield.This isn’t sexy and I can’t rely on them to come through. There’s hope that the defense improves but because of the big unanswered questions in the defense department: Can Lux play shortstop? Can Vargas consistently play a full season? Was Thompson a fluke, I’m afraid I have to kill it. Cause of death: your typical 6-4-3 misplayed missile line drive that killed the infield.  

MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at San Francisco Giants
Los Angeles Dodgers at San Francisco Giants, Yamashita


Mark Prior can work his mad science on anyone and turn them into a 3-year, $39 million pitcher. Let him loose, give him anyone. At this point, Prior can probably turn Shelby Miller into a Cy Young contender by the All-Star break.

He’ll have his hands full with Noah Syndergaard and Tyler Cyr in the pen. The pitching staff doesn’t have any sexy names. The Dodgers are sticking with the same reliable names like Urias, Kershaw and Gonsolin. Instead of signing any big names, they will count on Dustin May and Syndergaard to round up their starting rotation.

At the moment, their closer may be Blake Treinen and that’s a very intriguing option. Sure, the pitching staff is full of unanswered questions as well but in Prior we trust. The upside to this staff is so sexy and I can’t wait to see who will be this year’s Tyler Anderson. I just hope they stick around for more than a year. If that doesn’t happen, consider this a “tooted and booted,” situation. 

Mookie Betts gives Dodgers their fourth NL Player of the Week in '22 | by Cary Osborne | Dodger Insider
Mookie Betts gives Dodgers their fourth NL Player of the Week in ’22 | by Cary Osborn


As the Dodgers stand, the batting lineup will look something like this: 

  1. Mookie Betts
  2. Freddie Freeman
  3. JD Martinez
  4. Will Smith
  5. Max Muncy
  6. Gavin Lux
  7. Chris Taylor
  8. Miguel Vargas
  9. Trayce Thompson

The bottom half of the lineup has major upside. Lux, Taylor and Muncy have earned the trust of fans and have had moments of hitting in the clutch. They just need to be consistent enough to earn a lifetime supply of food from Grand Central Market.

Miguel Vargas was an hitting machine in Triple A, batting .304, 87 RBIs and hitting 17 homers. The lights will be bright for this young kid, but his taste of the bigs last season and the guidance of Miguel Rojas will help him stay grounded and focus on baseball.

Trayce may be the biggest “Uh, I guess,” spot in the lineup, but I will take those athletic genes any day. The Dodgers can trust the first four batters with an underfunded high school baseball team and they will beat the Washington Nationals.

Reliability is what makes a marriage succeed and that is why I would marry this offense in an instant. Missing Bellinger, Trea and Justin Turner in the lineup will hurt. JD slid right into the middle. I can‘t wait to be disappointed by them in October. 


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